What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize