Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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