3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
