Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
