i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
