I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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