No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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