we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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