Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
