i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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