You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
