drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
