Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
