i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
