i don't like sucking hair
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
