saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just tell him i said nine months
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
