D3 body, D1 cock
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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