Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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