You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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