I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize