he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
