I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Can Purell be used as lube?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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