just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
