The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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