But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
