Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Its about making memories worth repressing
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
