so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
