Rock
Scissors
Fuck
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
