nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
