still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
