Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
