Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
