Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
