HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
