if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
