If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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