Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
