fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
