he puts the penis in happiness.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
