So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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