its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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