Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
