y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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