i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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