Your tits are I can't wait for
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
