As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
