So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize