Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Damn victory sex feels great
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
