You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize