I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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