Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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