Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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