You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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