So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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