the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
