How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
