? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
