I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
people are starting to question the shark bite story
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
