It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
