You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
