Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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