The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
