I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I need to stop coming to work sober
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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