I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
