Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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