im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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