accomplished twins. life is a go
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
