dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
