"it" just moved
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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