its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
