you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
