If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
