I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
