my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize