omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
