I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
