It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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