Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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