so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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